Real Talk: Keeping it 100

Flower and Berry Flat Lay

You may have noticed that I haven’t been around these parts for a while huh? I promise you, it hasn’t been something I’ve done on purpose. It’s not that I’m ignoring my editorial calendar on purpose either because I’ve got one jam packed for the next two months. And believe me, I want to write and I have plenty to say. But real talk, let’s keep it 100.

I’m trying to hold my shit together. That sounds crazy, but it’s the truth- and honesty is the best policy. I’ve really been trying to hold it together for a few months now. When I first started this blog, I always thought that I’d try to keep my personal life mostly separated. I wanted to maintain some privacy and I feel like that’s a decision I  stuck with it pretty well. However, as I evolve throughout life both personally and as a blogger, sometimes it’s okay to air these feelings and sometimes it just has to be done.

I think to say that I’m undergoing a ‘life change’ is an understatement, because I really think this ‘life change’ has been going on for the past year and it hasn’t caught up to me until now. When I lost my dad, it really hurt, bad. I always thought I did pretty well with not dwelling on it because I never saw the point in dwelling on something you couldn’t change- all I could do is remember the great times and all of the important lessons he taught me (that’s what he would have wanted too.) Although I grieved appropriately, I’m still dealing with it- most days are better than others though.

I think that combined with this house flip (which looks AMAZING, and I have no regrets in doing it) has really stressed me out- it’s so scary putting a house that you’ve invested money into on the market. Like, scarier than I thought it was. And there’s really no way to segway into this properly so I’ll just say it. I am no longer in a relationship- it was a respectively mutual decision but you know what, it’s still hard. At the same time though, I feel like I have the opportunity to blossom.

Quote

Therefore, I’m moving back to the midwest for a while. You know, I keep saying it’s a temporary thing, and I think I say that to make myself better. The truth is that I feel like a failure for leaving NYC. I know I shouldn’t but I do. However, I think once my mind is clear again, I’ll catch up to what my gut has been trying to tell me- sometimes you just need a break. Sometimes, you just need to slow down, take your time, reevaluate and then keep moving. And that’s okay! And if you’re in the same situation as I am, whoever you are, I hope you believe it’s okay.

I’m really excited for my future and I’m excited to put me first again.

I know this is all a lot of information but I wanted to be honest and to say that I’m trying to get my shit together, and I don’t think I’m  the only one out there. Things will be changing around in my life and on this blog (in a REALLY good way!) and I thought it would be so fake of me to keep writing posts without sharing this personal bit of me. It feels really good to have gotten this off my chest AND it’s a great reminder that writing is one of many sources of therapy for me. Sometimes it’s easy to get wrapped up in shareable content and pin-able images as a blogger, but writing your heart out always feels so great.

I’m going to start being more personal and I want to share my journey through life, ups and downs included. This is just a little bump in the road that I’m getting through and I thought it was something I needed to share because eventually, you would have wondered what was up.  I know I’m not the only one (speak up if you feel me!) and I can’t way to blossom.

You do You mug

thanks for reading.

images via 1 / 2 / 3 (mug via)

(Visited 237 times, 1 visits today)
  • Thank you so much for sharing this post with us Cassandra. It’s 100% to take a pause on life to evaluate things – in fact, I was in a similar situation a few years ago and moving home was the best thing that I ever did! This post really struck a chord with me since your feelings are very similar to what mine were at the time – I wish that I could go back to my old self and let her know that everything would turn out okay!

    Looking forward to what the change of location brings to the blog!

    Joëlle
    La Petite Noob

    • cassandramonroe

      Joëlle- I am so happy to hear that everything turned out well for you. It can be so scary sometimes trying to figure out what the ‘right’ answer is in life. And sometimes you just have to follow your gut/intuition. But everything happens for a reason, and sometimes we won’t realize our decisions were the right ones until a while later! Thank you so much for your support!

  • Sending you so many hugs right now! I am so proud of you for sharing all of this with everyone. It is so scary to put yourself out there but you manage to do it in such a beautiful, touching way. I know you’ve been put through the wringer over the past year but I can’t tell you how impressed I’ve been with how you’ve handled everything. Not only do you have more hustle than most people I know, but you are one hell of a strong lady that I’m proud to call a friend! Can’t wait to see all the amazing things this year brings you.

    • cassandramonroe

      Ashley, I am SO thankful for your support this last year- well basically since we’ve been talking! It’s scary putting yourself out there sometimes, but at the same time that is what’s authentic. I appreciate all your kind words. Now, we need to figure out a way to meet!! <3

  • I hope you feel better after writing it all out. I know it always helps me tremendously! I’m really excited for you 🙂 Where are you headed in the Midwest? Word on the street says Kansas City is pretty great…just sayin’

    • cassandramonroe

      Jess! I’m headed to Iowa’s state capitol, Des Moines! Only about 3 hours from Kansas City! Thank you for your kind words <3

  • This is perfect. You are such a strong person and you face your obstacles with such grace. I am so honored to call you my friend and I cannot wait to see how you tackle this new adventure.

    • cassandramonroe

      Thank you for your support and kind words Steph! I’m happy to have known you since H.S. BUT SO HAPPY we’ve been able to form a friendship this last year <3 and we need another sangria night!

  • The Midwest isn’t NYC but it isn’t too bad either, especially heading into fall. Writing is good for the soul. It’s okay to be sad. Life is hard sometimes. You’ve got a great outlook though!

    • cassandramonroe

      Thank you Erica! The Midwest certainly ISN’T NYC but I think it would be great to get out of the hustle and bustle of the city for a while and quiet down. It will always be there for me if and when I decide to return. Thank you for your kind words 🙂

  • Pingback: and so, that's the thing about schedules -()